van het kind 7-14 jaar
In the first months, parent and child start to conform to each other. We call this matching. Sleep-wake, feeding rhythms and consolation procedures are especially important. Parents try to get a grip on their child's rhythms and preferences. In addition, the game is also matched to each other. Think of playing peekaboo. Finding harmony is important here. These simple games between parent and child promote common awareness and shared attention. In this way, parent and child learn - literally and figuratively -to play with each other. A risk factor for mismatch are different temperaments of parent and child. If a matching succeeds, one speaks of attunement or attunement: there is then a satisfactory relationship about a weather arising as a result of mutual effort, called coconstruction (Rigter, 2016, p. 155).
"Parents then stimulate the child's senses at the right moment, provide adequate postural control when grasping and promote the right interactions at the right moment when the child feels secure,safe and comfortable. A satisfyingrelationship is expressed in the child's enormous range of facial expressions,but especially in the smile" (De Boer, 1993, p. 33-34).
What can you, as parents, do to maximize thechance of safe attachment? The ideal parental behavior has three characteristics:
The behaviour is sensitive
The behavior is responsive
Continuity and regularity in behaviour (Rigter, 2016, p. 155).
Sensitivity of the parent is the ability to bereceptive to the signals of the child expressing a physical or psychologicalneed. A sensitive educator is accurate in interpreting the child's signals. Aplay therapist often has a natural talent and is also trained in sensitivity.
Responsiveness means that the parent, afterhaving determined the signal and the cause, responds immediately and correctly.Babies and children of such a sensitive parent learn that their signals provokeadequate responses and that their needs are taken seriously. They learn thatthey are worthwhile (Juffer, 2010; Van Ijzendoorn, 2008 in Rigter, 2016). Whatis reacting directly and correctly? That depends on the need, the constitutionand the context of the child. A play therapist is trained by means of skillstraining as well as knowledge as practical experience. A play therapist AG also trains hisintuition and inspiration on a daily basis by means of various exercises,meditations and contemplations.
Continuity and regularity in sensitivebehaviour contributes to predictability which is also an important factor inthe development of attachment (Ollendick, 1999 in Rigter, 2016).
Sensitivity of the educators can be low as:
They themselves are unsafe attached
Have asensory disorder
Have a mental disorder such as depression
Unresolved grief of one of the parents
There are serious conflicts in the relationship of the parents
There is family violence
The child can also be insensitive by itself:
A sensory disorder
A developmental disorder such as autism. In children with autism adhesion is often more difficult.
A mental disorder
The more sensational the educator, the greaterthe chance of safe attachment in the child (Bakermans-Kranenburg et al. 2003 inRigter, 2016, p. 155).
Attachment is a characteristic of a relationship, not of an individual. Attachment is a process. New experiences can always change a previously formed attachment representation (internal workmodel). This is easier at a young age than at an older age. The function of positive attachment is to reduce stress and to promote security and safety.
A child takes his or her attachment representation (internal work model) with him or her. His future behavior will always be influenced by a combination of this representation and the characteristics of the new situation.
As is already the case in other cultures, a network of educators consisting of parents, grandparents and possible 'bonus parents' (in the case of newly created families) is increasingly emerging inWestern countries. That is why it is better to speak of attachment networks than of an attachment relationship.
During parental counseling, the play therapist provides parenting support to break through the transmission of unsafe attachment. Hereby, the sensitivity and responsiveness of the educator(s) is tried to improve. This strengthens the safe attachment relationship between educator and child.
The support can be given at home.
The parent is seen as an expert and can interpret the child's own behavior.
A video can make the interaction processes between parent and child visible. The therapist makes clear what the parent's part in the interaction is: what are the consequences of certain behaviors of the parent for the child? The goal is to repeat and reinforce positive behaviors. All parents can benefit from this form of parent counseling even if your child is not diagnosed with an attachment problem or attachment disorder. This Video feedback Intervention (VIPP) is a proven effective suture prevention program.